stress
confused
upset
frustrated
figuring out
Lyrics
05. Lost
I'm lost like hell, never knew what to be.
With no help but left behind when they said they were family.
How can it be so tough? I just wanna get away from the fiction. & junk because I've had so much.
Always shot down with the title of a loser.
Locked in a void with emotional abusers.
I'm a chooser of the path, but it never goes straight.
People act like my problems just have no weight.
I been alone so long to make fierce decisions.
Didn't know what to do with my unclear visions.
In my brain I felt little to gain, I don't know how it goes, the shotgun has been blown.
& all I know is pain.
I been in circles with bullshit never goes away.
Much as I elude it, it straddles & I'm blamed.
Can't get away, I can never win.
I try so hard, but nothing ever seems to wanna fuckin' give.
(Chorus)
Guess I'm lost.
God I'm lost.
Guess I'm lost.
I'm so lost.
Still, I think to this day, should I change?
To fuck myself up more & mess with my brain?
Just to please you & be you & still be hated?
I'd rather keep it maniacal 'cause you'd only betray it.
I'm still trying to make something of myself believe me.
Hard to do when so many are ready to deceive me.
Lookin' at me you see a old lonely soul.
Keepin' it as strong as I can to stay in control.
I really can't explain the evil built inside.
When I'm expressin' my depression, I don't ever lie.
I beat myself up for my errors when they're so small.
I ain't perfect don't wanna be so don't be taunting me.
I get cheated, defeated, I just can't believe it.
Work so hard but bad luck stays repeated.
It's like my mind is a line I try to keep straight.
Jumpin' over garbage but I land headfirst on the gate.
Born with challenges, my disabilities.
Being a saint is impossible therefore I'm the villain V.
Sometimes I wish she was here so I could ask my mother.
Also got no comfort with no significant other.
All I wanna do is grip this mic & poor out my heart.
To help people that have dealt & pull more out the dark.
Drop song after song till I can no longer breathe.
Then lay in my coffin holdin' onto a V.
I got 1 reason to live let's keep it at this.
No music, no life, I hope I'll be leavin' some prints.
I'm smashing through any block or hault in my path.
& you're goin' down with it if you collar me man.
I don't need your sympathy, nor do I beg.
'Cause I fight what I can, that's every day.
If you feel my tragedies, then all I can say.
Is you feel my pain & you got my biggest thanks.